I'm as cold as the cold wind blows. :l

I haven't posted in here for awhile, I was a little busy getting up my other blog, Amai Gyaru up. Though no one from here follows that blog but a post is coming up soon. I may make a whole new blog for the deco crap...but I may as well not, just because I'm lazy.I went to the doctors today, I wasn't looking forward to the scale because doctor scales hate you more than your house scale >:U. But you know what? I was pretty happy with the doctor scale too. My doctor praised me so much for losing all that weight too. I smiled through the whole examination, it made me really happy.I have a ways to go, they say I'm fine now but I really have a ways to go. I don't feel ok at all with myself, I never knew I could dislike myself this much. Maybe it's just all the events going on, that alot of people I care about are turning their backs on me. Certainly one, the one who matters the most. It's my fault though, I was busy being delusional for the past months. I want to say I'm sorry but I won't. I hate the word sorry, I hate it more than anything. I want to learn to like myself again sooner or later, the idea of a disorder just bothers me. I can't even take pictures without disliking them. oh cry cry why me cry cry :l on a much better note I'll be going to out with plans next week. I may even see Nero if I'm not going to my aunt's, awesome <3.>