I haven't posted in a while

: < I turned to having a private tumblr so i never really bother with blogspot.
School is killing me. ; A ; But I'll try harder in the future to post here with interesting things!

I'm as cold as the cold wind blows. :l

I haven't posted in here for awhile, I was a little busy getting up my other blog, Amai Gyaru up. Though no one from here follows that blog but a post is coming up soon. I may make a whole new blog for the deco crap...but I may as well not, just because I'm lazy.I went to the doctors today, I wasn't looking forward to the scale because doctor scales hate you more than your house scale >:U. But you know what? I was pretty happy with the doctor scale too. My doctor praised me so much for losing all that weight too. I smiled through the whole examination, it made me really happy.I have a ways to go, they say I'm fine now but I really have a ways to go. I don't feel ok at all with myself, I never knew I could dislike myself this much. Maybe it's just all the events going on, that alot of people I care about are turning their backs on me. Certainly one, the one who matters the most. It's my fault though, I was busy being delusional for the past months. I want to say I'm sorry but I won't. I hate the word sorry, I hate it more than anything. I want to learn to like myself again sooner or later, the idea of a disorder just bothers me. I can't even take pictures without disliking them. oh cry cry why me cry cry :l on a much better note I'll be going to out with plans next week. I may even see Nero if I'm not going to my aunt's, awesome <3.>

All Day, Everyday

I've have exactly a week of summer break so far, The only thing I've done is 29 levels of Kingdom Hearts, hundreds of pointless thoughts on tumblr, drinking cups after cups of tea and water, and working out. I'd like to go out, I want to go somewhere with people I can stand. I'm beginning to realize I can only stand every last person around me for so long. They want to boss me around about where they want to go, or offer to go somewhere retarded. That's why I like going places with Nhi, we may be going to Orange County sunday, but from my knowledge at the moment we are not. Maybe next week I'll actually do something, if we can't go to OC I said maybe we could go to Citrus, have sushi, and shop a little.
Currently, =w= I'm in Atlantica on Kingdom Hearts. Puri was telling me how she was stuck there for two years, LOL. I'm getting frustrated by the all the passages, the retarded jellyfish, and that friggin dolphin. I'm close though, since I always have the walk through open next to me when needed. -sigh- I just saved and exited though because I have a headache.

Every time I got up from sitting or laying down I had a small pass out, I'd just black out and feel tingly all over my body. So I drank water and slightly ate. My calorie counter gave me a C+. I think I got a bad grade though from basically only consuming 700 calories today and not what they want to to consume, which is 1,800. That sounds disgusting to me. I'm tired of looking at these numbers, of being obsessed. I don't know how many times the people who know about this say something negative, and have me just think "it's easier said than done, sometimes I wonder if I'm even controlling this" I'm obsessed, just like a heroin addict, or an addict to anything. :C just look at fat percentage!
Apparently a few of my friends are going to a club tonight. I'm disgusted, to say the least. But it's personal preference. I would personally prefer parties with people I know/ know the majority of. Though, there was a gyaru meet up party that I found extremely interesting that I would have gone to if I was of age. 18 and up though. I'm just 15, I know I'm 15, I respect my age and I will wait. Of course There's a few restrictions I don't mind ignoring. I am a Sarah after all.
Goodness, My first post and it's riddled with random and annoying shit. I plan for review, I plan for advice, I plan to spill out my mind- I plan to post what I see fit.